2020, 21 now 22?
2020 was a year full of surprises. It started off crazy — just 2 days after New Year’s eve, the US ordered a drone strike to kill top Iranian official, an act that almost instigated World War 3. Shortly after, the ‘mysterious disease’ reported to be circulating around China in late 2019 became a major deal — a pandemic. Due to the pandemic, many lives were lost, but many more were brought into a halt. Previously thriving twenty somethings lost their sight, teenagers lost access to their education, and toddlers spent years locked inside. But for me, 2020 was all about humility.
In 2020, I learned that I was a nobody. From being stranded abroad to running into all sorts of perplexities that showed me how incapable I was, I learned a valuable lesson in humility. I lost an important figure of my life. I lost sight. It was tough, but I also siphoned off of the powerlessness to fuel myself. I did not want to stay that way. It sort of worked, but I had a hard time staying focused with all the crazy stuff going on in the world. I was overwhelmed, inundated by bad news, depressed. I was lucky enough to have a great support system though, my family and other loved ones. I eventually learned to remain focused, thanks to everyone. I just had to keep in mind what was important. In short, realizing my insignificance ended up being a good thing.
In 2021, I learned to be grateful. I finally took a gander at the people that had my back in 2020 and felt truly blessed to have them. However, in the same year, I lost many of them. Painful. Both physically and mentally. It was what it was, but I did not want it to be what it was. I did not want to lose people left and right anymore. I grew paranoid, insecure, depressed. But I noticed those who stayed and felt even more blessed to have them. I also felt more grateful to myself for wanting to improve in the previous year, for I was able to feel the results.
Though pain was a general theme in the past two years, the pain taught me. I learned. I grew more awake. It’s 2022 now. I am certain this year will be painful as well, but I am also excited for the good things it will bring, the same way 2020 brought me humility and 2021 brought me gratefulness. Things might go even crazier this year, or relax down a bit. Either way it goes, I will be surviving, trying my best to thrive.
